Ian has been fostering with his local authority for more than 25 years, providing long term foster care and stability for older children and young people on Anglesey.
After the death of his wife, Liz, 10 years ago, Ian became a single foster carer. Since then, he’s been a positive role model for the young people in his care.
More recently, Ian has been caring for three young people in their teens, one of which has just gone to University, and according to Ian, that makes it all the more rewarding.
He shares his inspiring story.
Ian and Liz were foster carers for many years, since their own children were young.
“Liz always wanted a house full of children, so when our own children were a bit older, we started looking into fostering,” says Ian, who’s 65 years old. “At the time, fostering wasn’t spoken about much, so we didn’t know a lot about it and the need in the local area.”
“And that’s how everything started to be honest! In no time at all, we had a brother and sister who were 8 and 4 years old living with us, and they stayed here until they were adults, and they’re still part of our family today.”
Unfortunately, Liz died in 2013, and Ian wondered whether he could continue with his fostering journey without her.
“The period following Liz’s death was hard, and the months after losing her were a real test, and I questioned whether I would continue on my own or not,” he added.
“But I decided to carry on, and that’s how I got here today.”
“I can trust my social worker”
When fostering with your local authority, you’ll have a local team supporting you and encouraging you every step of the way so that you never feel that you’re fostering on your own, even if you’re a single carer. You’ll have an experienced social worker who’ll supervise you, develop you and support you during your journey as a foster carer.
“I have a fantastic social worker who I can completely trust, and that’s important especially as a single foster carer,” says Ian. “She listens to me, and we can be open and honest with each other.
There’s a bit of fun to be had too, and that’s needed sometimes to support you through the challenging parts of fostering.
Usually, if I haven’t heard from her or seen her during the week, she’ll give me a call on Friday afternoon to see if everything is ok and how I am.
Small things like that go a long way and reminds you that someone is always there for you.”
“it’s important to make time for yourself”
Personal support networks are also important to any foster carer with practical and emotional support, be that family or friends.
“It’s important to make time for yourself every now and again to go out with friends, go on holiday and have other hobbies, and that’s not always easy as a single carer.
I’m very lucky in that sense, my daughter, Llinos, and my grandson live close by and give me a lot of practical support so that I can also have a bit of a social life!
I have a part time job with a local bus company, and that allows me to get out of the house but it also fits around my life as a foster carer.”
“my door is always open for them”
Relationships are at the heart of foster care. It’s very common for the relationship between the child and foster carer to continue until they’re an adult, and for the rest of their lives.
“After being through so much with some of them, the relationships that I have formed with some of the young people are similar to a bond between a father and his son or daughter.
I don’t think of this house as a foster home, it’s their home and my door is always open for them, even when they’re adults and have moved on.
Some still give me a call and come by, especially when they want something!
Fostering isn’t something just for me as a foster carer – the whole family is part of it, and the family has grown over the years through fostering.
I’m even a foster grandfather by now, and that makes me feel old!”
“I’m so glad I still foster, it gives me focus and purpose”
Ian says that fostering has helped him move on after losing his wife and has given him purpose.
“I don’t know what life would have been like if I’d have given up on fostering after I lost Liz, or where I’d be now without some of the young people I’ve cared for, and still support today.
I had no time to sit down and grieve. Some of these young people have kept me going, and they have without a doubt helped me over the years.
Some children have come into my life, and me into theirs, at the right time, and I believe that it was meant to happen for a reason!”
“go for it, it’s so rewarding”
To other men who are thinking of being a single foster carer, Ian says ‘go for it’.
“The journey doesn’t always start off easy and it can be difficult at times. But, if you continue to offer care and support, you could help these young people turn everything around and give them a good future.
Going to college or university, forming stable relationships, having children of their own and being happy with their lives are some of those things that I never imagined some of these young people would ever get to experience when I first met them.
It’s really rewarding to see the end result.”
